Angsty

Okay, so I am not going to write about a certain person, and the thoughts going through my head with regards to him, especially after he specifically said, “Sure, but do not scare me.” If you ever come across this, well, what can I say, except, “Little girls (read big) have a way of seeing things.”

So anyway, this week has been rather tight for me. I’ve had a myriad tasks to follow up on, but I am absolutely happy that I can now begin to see the light on three of the children’s books I am helping to develop.

Last weekend I managed to spend time doing a few things I love, including the time at the Ongoza Njia Community Centre with the Homework Club kids. By the way, anyone who feels inclined to donate books to the Kids’ Library, or help with the activities, you would be most welcome to do so. We also recently found out that some of the children come from really poor families. It can be hard for them to gain much from the programs if they are hungry. It is not much but we will try and provide them a light lunch before the activities begin and if you want to share with us, please do!

Two days ago, I went into a bank in Westlands area to deposit some cash for a friend. As I left, I noticed a person who gave me absolute creeps. So when I got into a matatu and noticed the same fellow, I got double creeps. What gave me a near cardiac arrest was when i got into a second matatu now heading to the area I live in, and i noticed the same fellow, this time, with two cronies of his, complete with baggy jackets, sufficient enough to carry a gun or two.

I texted a policeman stationed with the Ongata Rongai Police Station, he did not reply, and I figured that he was probably not in a position to respond. But imagine my surprise when I arrived at my bus stop to find two armed police men waiting. They asked if I was Juliet, and escorted me home. Of course in my conspiracy theory, they might have been evil cohorts of my stalker. Never mind. I got home safe.

Anyway, I have been bugging someone with a word, that is not a word. Angsty. It is not  word, it is just a description of all the feelings that plague me when I am travelling in a matatu. Sometimes I end up in the wrong seat and the nearest person has a thing for violating personal spaces. Or I sit at the front cabin and the driver overspeeds. Or I get into those huge buses and they tilt dangerously to the side as they overtake vehicles in traffic jams. Or I am convinced that there are carjackers in the matatu…

Usually, I just deal with it by texting every one I care about, you know, so if I die, they can say, oh she sent me such a sweet message just before she was killed.

You are right to be indignant. I should do a better job of showing my love for everyone who matters to me. But how will some of them, ok, just one of them, know about the terrible crush I had, still have on him?