Alright, so I haven’t been the greatest person to be around lately. I’ve been fussy, nagging, complaining, sad, depressed and generally difficult. It’s November. That is the one month that I actually have a justification for being an ass. The rest of the year, it’s just me being an ass.
November is just before December, just before the end of the year. The one month when you stop, look back, and realize that the year is almost over, and that you have not accomplished much of what you hoped to achieve. That is, of course, unless you are unlike me and you actually breeze through your goals and achieve all of them.
November is the one month when my thoughts come to a head, I really have to move house, change jobs, change a relationship… Might be because of the other reason above. As always, the changes I might be envisioning require emotional energy, decisions, choices, heartbreak, etc.
November is also the month my brother died. Combine that with all the other stuff I am going through and I am a total ass to be around. Of course, much of the stuff I’m going through is of my own making. If I really tried to sort myself out, I probably wouldn’t have commitment issues. If I managed my time better, I might have been able to finish that novel this year.
But this year, this November, is going to go down as one of the best in my life. I’ve been counting blessings and my list actually went up to 50, trust me that is a lot since every year I stop at 13. I will list just 5, today, and go up to 50 before the year is over…
I am alive. I might have the complications of a difficult hormone disorder, but I am alive.
Mum. We might not agree on a lot of things, but you have loved me, and been there for me, even when I haven’t been the very best I should be.
Daddy. You came on a blast of wind, and I gave you the throne you now sit upon in my heart. Thank you.
Kenji. You are the most difficult man alive. But you are the best friend I have ever had.
The gift of writing is a curse and a blessing. When you have the ability to write, what others think, and feel, just to let them know that they are not alone, that is a blessing. I am not the best, but I will yet be. 🙂