Useless(maybe useful) information from reading other people’s newspapers

I was quite amused today, because the guy squashed next to me in the matatu was struggling hard to read his newspaper in a way that did not allow me to read with him. What, si the title was catching. Can you resist anything that sensationalises President-Elect Obama, his country, his father’s country, blah, blah, blah?

Anyway, I was torturing the guy because I did not really need to read that newspaper. There are always newspapers in the office when I get there ( I hardly ever buy my own, but I do read newspapers.)

But seriously, the number of times weird info passes by my eyes over other people’s shoulders is countless. Like when the mama next to me was reading a spiritual book that seemed to be discouraging sex outside marriage by citing that ‘the energy lost through one ejaculation is equal to that gained by eating four square meals.’ !!!

Or take for example the other one I read in a magazine that someone was reading, citing that ‘like the Toyota slogan, African Girls have a slogan of their own; ‘the girl in front of you is always wearing a weave’, and sure enough the lady in front of us, and the one reading that magazine, yeah, weave, and not very well placed or maintained.

Come on, you gotta hand it to me, I’m a fast reader, and I can scan the page so fast, then wait impatiently for you to move on to more interesting pages, like the one featuring a rather buxom Nyota ndogo working a very unnatractive lap dance on someone’s son.

Poor kid! Wonder how long he is grounded for, now. Oh, only my mother grounds people. I’m grounded for life, by the way. In case you wonder why I don’t show at any night clubs or parties.

Happy long weekend! Yeah, boycotts, too.

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