It seems to me that November marks the month of the year when I grieve most. Today, I have gone through nearly half the stages of grief, shocked numbness, denial, fear, anger… I am yet to reach acceptance, but as I mourn the loss of a true and dear friend, I am glad for the life and strength that I do have.
And so, I can’t stop the tears, but if I didn’t cry, it would mean I have not lost, and so because I have lost a good man, I must cry for the pain of the empty space he has left.
Still, I cannot forget the reason I loved him so. He made me laugh. And taught me that even when life is an absolute bitch, we can defy her and live life with all our hearts. He taught me to care, from the very bottom of the heart, and to believe in love even when it seemed to elude me.
Even though I feel the sting of death, I know that he is no longer in pain, and better I for the pain that reminds me I am alive, to honor the love, the laughter, and the friendship we shared.
So rest, little bird, for I will see you soon, dear Peanut.