Yeah, so I was re-watching Bolt. Yes, I know it is kinda like Garfield, with a dog instead of a cat. My cats have forgiven me for that moment. They know I will look at other animals but will always go back to them. Don’t psychoanalyse that.
Anyway, it got me thinking of some of the illusions we accept as fact, and the facts that we confuse with illusions.
Illusion: Being in love is true love.
Fact: Being in love is not loving. The physical and physiological state of being in love is temporary. The first experience of being in love is mostly involuntary. However, it does allow for potential life mates to sight each other and get to know each other.
Fact: Loving requires logic and rationale, the kind that makes you assess the potential life mate, and your self, and see whether or not you can commit fully and completely to making a long-term relationship work. Often, it is quite possible to see the potential mate’s character flaws, but measured against the character strengths, those flaws are judged to be bearable, even endearing.
Fact: Most people rush into marriage during the physiological phase of being in love, and never have the chance to assess the relationship logically. Marriage is very much a legal contract. No one should make a legal contract without assessing the situation objectively, rationally and logically. There are only three ways a marriage can work if you you go into it unprepared.
- You might be unbelievably fortunate, when you find that your mate is actually suited to you. Things could actually work out, and you might have a long and relatively happy marriage. The chances for this are extremely minimal.
- You will realise that you rushed into a relationship with someone who is not at all suited to you. You will be very unhappy, even miserable. But because of reasons, perhaps religious, cultural or financial, you will be forced to honor that marriage contract and thus be trapped in a life you hate.
- You will realise that you made a mistake, will back out regardless of the consequences, and move on perhaps a little wiser, very likely not much wiser. If you are fortunate, you’ll see where you made the mistake, and try to avoid it next time. But most likely, you will start another vicious cycle.
Illusion: The key to success in life is complete logic and rational.
Fact: Life doesn’t work on logic and rationale alone. Emotions, attachments and bonds are a very large part of the cycle of life. Cutting these out will only result in a cold unfulfilled life. This does not only apply in to relationships. A large part of job satisfaction depends on emotions and experiences that inspire us to do what we do and do it best.
So back to Bolt. That little dog who sets out on what might seem an impossible task, to rescue his human, who lives right across the universe in dog terms. A lot of illusion was involved. But there was some kind of logic and rationale that united him with the human he adored.
I just realised. I didn’t lose you. I had to go across the my universe to find me, before I could come looking for you. And then you found me.