Kids say the darn’dest things – Monday Humor (T. B. I. M.)


Children  Writing About The Ocean…

1) –  Here is my picture of an octopus. It has eight  testicles.
(Kelly, age 6)

So that's what they are. I wonder if it makes them smarter, coz they have so many.

2) – Oysters’ balls are called  pearls.
(Jerry, age 6)

Looks like em. Icky!

3) – If you are surrounded by  ocean you are an island. If  you don’t have ocean all round you, you are incontinent.
( Wayne , age 7)

If you ain't that, then you need adult diapers.

4) – Sharks are ugly and mean,  and have big teeth, just like Emily Richardson.  She’s  not my friend any  more.
(Kylie,  age 6)

That's Emily Richardsons with her cousins. See the resemblance?

5) – A dolphin breaths through an asshole  on the top of its  head.
(Billy,  age 8)

If you look real close you can see it.

6) – My uncle goes out in his boat with 2 other men and a woman and pots and comes back with  crabs.
(Millie,  age 6)

Potfuls of this? Grownups are just weird.

7) – When ships had sails, they used to  use the trade winds to cross the ocean.  Sometimes when the wind didn’t blow the sailors would whistle  to make the wind come. My brother said they would have been better off eating  beans.
(William, age 7 )

If you look with a magnifying glass you can see the whistling sailor. Or you could just eat your beans and spinach.

8) – Mermaids live in the  ocean. I like mermaids.  They  are beautiful and I like their shiny tails, but how on earth do  mermaids get pregnant? Like,  really?
(Helen, age 6)

Yeah, like how? Really?

9) – I’m not going to write about the ocean.   My baby brother is always crying, my Dad keeps yelling at my Mom, and  my big sister has just got  pregnant, so I can’t think what to  write.
(Amy, age  6)

That's me. They cartoonised me for their campaign. And they got my hair wrong!

10) – Some fish are dangerous. Jellyfish can  sting.  Electric eels can give you a shock. They have to live in caves under the sea where I think they  have to plug themselves into  chargers.
(Christopher, age 7)

Shhhh... he's charging now!

11) – When you go swimming in the  ocean, it is very cold, and it makes my willy  small.
(Kevin, age 6)

OMG! I can't find it!

12) – Divers have to be safe when they  go under the water.  Divers can’t go down alone, so they have to go down on each  other.
(Becky, age 8)


13) – On vacation my Mom went water  skiing. She fell off when she was going very fast.  She says she won’t do it again because water fired right up her big  fat  ass.
(Julie, age 7)

Yep. That's her. I told you.

14) – The ocean is made up of water and  fish.  Why the fish don’t drown, I don’t  know..
(Bobby, age 6)

No idea. No, they don't have oxygen masks. I checked.

15) – My dad was a sailor on the ocean.  He knows all about the  ocean.  What he doesn’t know is why he quit being a sailor and  married my  mom.
(James, age 7)

He shoulda stayed a sailor


One thought on “Kids say the darn’dest things – Monday Humor (T. B. I. M.)

  1. That is true of kids,this against the general idea that they can’t reason.According to Piaget,they can construct their own knowledge and concepts even though it might not be in line with adult’s reasoning.just ask them where babies come from and you will be surprised .


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