T.B.I.M. – The 4 Most Unintentionally Creepy Places on the Internet

The Internet is enormous. And given that it has, up to this point, been almost completely anonymous it’s not surprising there are some pretty strange parts. So it takes a mind-bending, almost admirable level of dedication to stand out among the tangle of crazy. These are seven websites that prove the internet can still make the hairs on the back of your neck stand on end .

4. Edward Muscare

Meet the dark side of YouTube (we know — you thought YouTube was nothing but one giant dark side). Meet Edward Muscare, also known as Edarem:

 
He looks like equal parts “unsettling uncle no longer allowed at the family reunion” and “half-mad grandpa screaming obscenities at the cat” with just a dash of Emperor Palpatine and two shakes of “fairy tale witch” thrown in for flavor. But his channel isn’t anything too disturbing: He films himself giving opinions on current events, ranting about daily annoyances and lip-synching to his favorite songs. He looks pretty unsettling, sure, but it’s also kind of cute: Here’s this weird old guy just having fun and being eccentric, singing “Pretty Woman” and wishing happy birthday to some of his old flames. But wait:

 

Yep. Registered sexual offender, convicted for sexual battery back in 1987. Remember that birthday video? Watch it again now, and the context completely changes: It's a terrifying sex offender singing children's songs to "the one that got away," Most likely from his van.

 

 

3. Reborn Dolls

Reborn-Baby.com is the website of an artist who displays and sells her handcrafted baby dolls, called “Reborn Babies,” and don’t worry, folks, it’s not just a creepy name.

 

The glossy, dead eyes, the disturbing attention to detail -- even mapping out individual veins below the skin -- an unquestionably talented artist has used her gift to conquer the uncanny valley and rule it with an iron fist from atop Mount Soul-Rape in Involuntarily Urination Castle.

 

To fully impress upon you the scale of their horror, there’s not much we can say that the images don’t scream inside of your mind with a thousand ghostly voices.

 

Here's one, right before it turns its gaze to look upon you, and begins singing. Goosebumps!

The eyes -- it's always the eyes. They do not see, and yet they know all!

Oh, God, we were wrong: The hands. How are the hands worse than the eyes?!

 

2. The Buffy Vampire Boards

You can find an Internet forum for pretty much anything, from fans of My Little Pony to people who like to get peed on by fans of My Little Pony. So at first glance, the Bloody Board, a forum for fans of Buffy the Vampire Slayer, seems comfortingly normal, apart from the fact that the series aired several years back.

They post tweets from former cast members of the show (mostly about how much it sucks to work at this gas station now), speculate about plot points, discuss favorite episodes and fan art — the usual stuff. But on close inspection, something’s just a little off …

 

One user, "jamie_marsters" appears to be quite prolific, posting and replying many, many times a day. We suppose it's sort of creepy that she's taken the name of Buffy star James Marsters, and changed it to Jamie to imply familiarity, like an ex-girlfriend or an old babysitter might.

A quick look at the profile statistics and things get much worse. Look at the number of total posts "jamie" has made.

 

Huh, she must be really into the community to make almost 40,000 posts. The only problem being: There’s no community. There is only jamie_marsters. Scrolling through the archives reveals that there are virtually no other users, just this one, posting non stop, replying to herself, over and over again, every minute of every day for the last six years, alone inside her own dark little echo-chamber of madness.

1. Humanbeing 151/Insomniac

Humanbeing151, who goes by the name “Insomniac,” has a desire to meet P. Diddy that is so intense it can only be quantified as “Lovecraftian.” His YouTube profile says that he has “150,000 written songs,” and while he has nearly 1,300 videos, only one of them has any music. Or sanity.

There’s only one message in all of these videos: Diddy needs to check his MySpace inbox because he’s been sent an “important message.” Various titles for these plaintive clips include “Diddy Dear Mr Diddy please read this,” “Diddy TV official,” and “Diddy Diddy diddy diddy diddy DIDDY P diddy Puff Diddy diddy twitter.” While most desperate YouTube stars throw “BOOBS TITS HALO” into the video tags when they want people to find their videos, Insomniac takes the less-subtle approach and puts these things straight in the title. Presumably in the hopes that Diddy, while incessantly Googling himself one day, will stumble across “P.Diddy dirty money angels diddy angels Diddy dirty money angels angels dirty money,” and click on it, wondering how he forgot that time he starred in an anal-centric porno.

If you follow the video feed chronologically, you can see the downward spiral of a man that starts at “complete insanity” and somehow goes downhill from there. As evidenced by some of his more recent videos, which have titles like “i will pay $5000 to see Diddy,” featuring a background image of a man on all fours, utterly crushed with despair. So what’s this all-consuming important message for Diddy? We don’t know; he won’t say. We can only assume it has something to do with this:

A room in Insomniac’s home is filled with what appears to be thousands upon thousands of notebooks. What could they be? Songbooks? An epic poem detailing the importance of sub-standard sample-based hip hop? A new Bible with every single name replaced by “Diddy”? Eventually, Insomniac pulls one out and flips though it, where we can see that every single page is filled with the words “Dear Mr. P Diddy please accept” or “Brother Diddy please accept.”

Insomniac’s dream is so desperate and heart-wrenching, we can’t help but root for him a little bit and hope that he finally gets his wish to meet Diddy in person. Besides, Diddy’s one of the richest entertainers in the world; after Insomniac’s done sewing his Brother Diddy Suit, Mr. Combs could almost certainly afford some new skin.

 

See more crazy stuff at cracked.com

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