I got to spend some time last week with someone that I think I do not appreciate as much as I should. He is the kind of man who understands me, perhaps better than I give him credit for. He knows when I need to be on my own and when I need him standing right beside me. He gives room for my fierce independence, but the times that I have crumbled, I look up to see him right there, even during the times when I would rather he was not.
The problem is, the kind of person I am right now, hasn’t been able to give as much as I have taken.
I didn’t realise this. I think that I have allowed the culture I live in to influence my way of thinking. We have become quite the commercial culture, haven’t we? Wealth, finances, and money – they have become a very large factor in the lives we live. It’s only understandable when more than 50% of a population lives below the poverty line. But how much should that factor in the relationships we have?
When you equate the value of life and love to the value of money or wealth available or exchanged; you dismiss the value of a phone call from a loved one checking on how you are doing because he did not Mpesa the value of his love, you dismiss the time your mother spent on that bad road to come and visit you because maybe she didn’t bring a basket full of stuff from home, you ignore that kind and tender touch, you don’t value that long hug, you forget how to love back.
We made a deal, my friend and I, long ago when we were just soccer buddies. If we went out for Icecream at Yul’s, he’d pay, or I’d pay, or we’d both pay whatever worked at the time. But I’d never ask him for his money, and he’d never ask me for my money. Weird deal, but it worked. I recognise my responsibility to support myself, and he respects my wish to do so.
In that respect, I grew up. Well, sort of. I run to mummy and daddy when I am in trouble. Mummy never complains. Daddy indulges me a little too much.
The problem I think is that that definition of our relationship my friend and I made, might have sort of warped the rest of my thinking. My independence and his respect for it seem to justify it when he gives his love and time, and I don’t feel obligated to give back as much time and love.
This morning my mother said, “When you only take, you forget to give. The problem is not that you hurt the other person. The problem is that when you don’t give, you forget who you are.”
It’s one of those saying that I take weeks thinking over before I can understand it. But I have a feeling that she is right. Don’t you?
So, back to The Princess Project (K). We moved houses this week. You can now find us at www.princessprojectkenya.com.
This week we brought you the last part of Reunion, which by the way is also the last part of the Creekside Princess Season 2 Finale – Reunion 2
What the hell?! You meet a guy in a supermarket the next day he is at your apartment!
“What? No. He’s just my roommate.”
“Ah.” That obviously made perfect sense to him, but it sure did not explain why in the world he was here. “Your T-shirt is inside out.”
Gaby blinked, glanced down. Her I am my own Bitch T-shirt was indeed inside out. She shrugged, “It’s fine.”
Read The Season Finale
We will be taking a very short break, but we will be here to keep you company through December.
The next season of the Creekside Princess will be about growing beyond challenges and giving back to society by being the best of what you are. It’s time for Gabrielle to take charge of her life and stop drifting from trouble to tragedy. We should give her a chance to do that, don’t you think?
Are you intrigued by Sam, the Blackberry Princess, and Kombo, the Bourbon King? They are going to become regular features in Season 3. But please do write in and tell us which character you would like to see more of. Just post the name of your favorite Character on our Facebook Fan Page.
We are also looking for book reviews, so if there is a book that has entertained you, enlightened you or been a source of motivation and courage for you, please tell us all about it. Send your book review email@example.com.
You can also send in poetry, nominate a queen in your life for a Diva Interview with the Ivory Punk, or send us your personal trial and strength story.
If you work in organisations aimed at empowering and educating young women, or have opportunities for young women, please let us know and will spread the word about your project, business or organisation.
For now, kwaheri ya kuonana!