So. I’m in full flare again. Like clockwork. I think its the cold that sets it off. Doc is suggesting moving to warmer weather. I am thinking err… no. Or maybe I could set off a chain reaction that would result in Mombasa turning into Africa’s literary hub. Unfortunately, right now, Nairobi is where all my business is. So I am staying. Not that I’ve been able to work much lately.
It’s been a while since pain has crippled me to the point I can’t think. My work is 90% thought, and creative thought at that, so you see the problem. So what’s 10% like. Well, painkillers, anti seizure meds and mostly angry glares when my doctor comes back with that confounded look on his face. Doesn’t help that he is kinda cute. The other doctor he called in is pretty sure I am either imagining the seizures or I have some disease that is going to cost an arm, a leg and a nose to test for. And he has a new test to suggest every time he walks in the door.
I know. I should be grateful that they are doing their best to figure out what SLE has triggered this time. But that’s the thing. I have been so angry and irritable lately, mostly for no good reason, that I’ve been having a really hard time being grateful for anything. Which sort of diminishes my 10%.
Yes, I am outing myself here so I can start to deal with it. I know a big problem for chronic illness survivors is depression which displays as an array of behavioural symptoms with anger and irritability being at the top. So along with all the meds i have to take I am looking at possibly starting on anti-depressants. But in the meantime, I am actively dealing with it. Which involves among other things taking my new little muse for lots of walkies.
See this is what happens when you are a little depressed. The things you are grateful for are a little hard to remember. But I am trying.
Well, I just can’t help but notice how much my hispanophilia is rubbing off onto my family and friends.
Speaking of friends, I work with a wonderful bunch of creatives. My 10% has involved reading some pretty interesting Sci-fi/Fantasy. Make sure you look at he footer widgets for links to more stories.
.I am always cheering for this creative dude. So sad I can’t see his show tomorrow.
See? Now, that I am reminding myself, I realise that my 10% is actually a whole lot. I am leaving a lot out of this list. But permanent members include HorseShoe :), Sony the Engineer, Alexander the Critic, Lydia the mad, Michael the Hun…